I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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