it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
