i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
