so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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