I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
