It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's shark week go big or go home
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
