Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
