I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i permit you to call me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i think i just lost a toe
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
