I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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