Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
