We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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