It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
