Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
