"it" just moved
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're not piercing ourselves today.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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