how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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