Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
