She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
