so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
