thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
