don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
