That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
