If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
please come you make the beer taste better
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
