Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
