she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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