I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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