If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
