there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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