Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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