My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
