He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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