im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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