so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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