i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize