break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
