Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize