You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
