Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
