I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
