i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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