Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
