Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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