does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
