6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
