your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
