I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize