i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
