We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
