Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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