I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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