Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
