Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
