The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
