i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
