we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
