Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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