Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
