Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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