hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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