dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
